For years, sleep research has focused on individual behavior. However, recent studies such as that of Dr. Wendy Troxel, a social and behavioral scientist, provide a broader perspective by stating that sleep is fundamentally social.
“Our sleep patterns and quality have a direct impact on our partners and closest relationships.”
Wendy Troxel, author of the book Sharing the covers: Every couple’s guide to better sleep.
Troxel, who has studied this dynamic for 15 years, explained in an interview that there are several myths about what it means to sleep as a couple. A situation that also generates a certain amount of shame among those who choose to sleep separately.
Her contributions are made from the perspective that studying sleep only for those who sleep in isolation is far from the real world. Sleep is often an activity that goes through a series of situations such as noise, snoring, movement, or the habits of the person next to us. In addition, the relationship with the person we share the bed with has an influence. “They are interdependent and affect each other,” explains the expert.
Troxel measurements have found that people sleep worse when they share a bed than when they sleep alone. But when asked how they prefer to sleep, they opt for sleeping next to their loved one.
The benefits
Although sharing a bed implies the cost of not sleeping well, there are psychological benefits such as the security of having someone nearby, a factor that reduces cortisol levels (a hormone released in response to stress) and increases oxytocin, known as the love hormone. In some people, it creates a sleep routine, improves coexistence, and regulates body temperature. While women are more sensitive to the cold, men tend to be warmer.
On a deeper level, Troxel has identified that sleeping as a couple can help regulate emotions, and moods and make us more resilient to conflict. In short, it affects our social interactions. “It is a fundamental part of our existence as a couple when we spend an average of eight hours sleeping,” she says.
Sleeping together, a nightmare
Sleeping with a partner also has its detractors, such as surgeon Karan Raj from the United Kingdom, who maintains that it has detrimental effects on health. Snoring, the other’s movements, different bedtimes, and increased body heat end up affecting the quality of sleep.
A survey by the Better Sleep Council found that sleeping together is problematic for 63 percent of American couples, who prefer to spend the night apart, was the most relevant data from this survey conducted in 2012.
Furthermore, it reports that one in ten people say they sleep in separate bedrooms. And 26% of respondents said they sleep better alone; while almost 2 in 10 respondents said their dream home has separate master bedrooms.
Mattress size matters
In short, there are no unique formulas. For many couples, the emotional and psychological part is stronger than the physical. Therefore, some minimum recommendations are to have the right mattress, with a size sufficient to change position without disturbing the couple. Currently, three sizes are offered in the regional market: double, queen, and king. Technology is also important, such as the spring system that prevents the transmission of movement and offers sleep with fewer interruptions.
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