How To Be A Better Lover

The expert emphasized that the key to having a fulfilling sexuality is trust, which comes from two people who, in addition to having love, talk freely about what they like about intimacy.

“This can range from physical contact to a deep kiss. The problem is that many couples focus, most of the time, only on the sexual act,” said Alcalá.

Before you start

How much do you need to know or study to be a good lover? This was one of the questions that Internet users on this morning’s Fanpage asked the psychologist.

According to the professional, it is important – books help – but it is more important not to be selfish, to know what the other person likes and to try to please each other. This will guarantee success in all emotional relationships.

“I ask many couples who come to me for a consultation: do you know your partner’s erogenous zones? And they remain silent. This is an indication that they do not have the best communication. We must start from there, and then begin to work on strengthening communication and trust,” Alcalá pointed out.

Here are some of the things Alcalá shared about being the best partner in a relationship.

First things first

Sexologist and educator Yosahandi Alcalá believes that before being good lovers, each person must know themselves, know what they like, and lose the fear of talking about it with their partner.

You should talk openly about your sexuality. It is important to have the confidence to do so to fully enjoy it.

Say what they dislike

Generally, one of the most common mistakes—especially among women—in an intimate relationship is not expressing what bothers them.

You can’t say that a couple is enjoying a relationship if there is something that bothers them and they don’t say it for fear of their partner’s reaction.

It is of two

“If my partner and I take into account why we are having this sexual encounter and what it is for, we will have already taken a big step towards intimacy,” said Alcalá.

Factors such as lack of privacy, arguments, fear, guilt, or shame should be avoided, since “if we enter into the sexual act with negative things, we will not enjoy it.”

Play and play

“When we see sex as something serious, we lose. It is good to change the routine and be creative,” says Alcalá and recommends the following game: each person writes on three pieces of paper something they would like and then puts them in an envelope.

Each week they draw a piece of paper and implement the request if they both agree.

Always show affection

“Intimacy is the last phase of a process that begins with kisses and goes through provocative photos and even erotic text messages.

Connection must occur at all times, throughout the day, to express affection towards others,” suggests Alcalá.

What if the spark is lost?

Relationships in which intimacy has been left in the background need to be renewed. The expert recommends starting to have more physical contact and “giving each other at least one passionate kiss a day, like when you were dating.”

The mischief must return along with the details and the connection.

This is what they asked on social media

Edgar: “If we don’t exercise we won’t be attractive”
Yosahandi: It has more influence on how I feel about my physique because that’s what I project to my partner. Of course, we have to keep ourselves in good shape.

Isabel: “What can we do to be more creative in intimacy?”
Yosahandi: Experiment with the five senses. Play different music, light scented candles, get massages, etc.

Ludwing: “Intimacy is better when there is love.”
Yosahandi: Love helps make intimacy more pleasurable. But some seek more passion, without necessarily love.