These Are The Most Common Sexual Problems In Couples

Intimacy is often an important part of a couple’s relationship, as it is a way of strengthening the emotional bond that unites them. However, some physical or emotional problems may arise that, if not treated in time, could lead to the development of major conflicts that affect harmony.

Being in a relationship involves building a strong emotional bond with the other person, and thus having a relationship of companionship based on love, respect, communication, and trust. According to Yosahandi Alcalá, a sexologist and educator, couples today look for two elements to nurture this bond: the first is time.

“Sometimes, there are many social activities or distractions like the phone that prevent us from having time to talk and have emotional intimacy, which involves talking about myself, what is happening in my life, what my concerns are, how I feel, knowing that my partner is paying attention to me and not judging me,” explains Alcalá.

In other words, quality time and assertive communication are key elements for a healthy relationship. For the sexologist, the other element with which a modern couple nurtures this emotional bond is the trust to be able to converse.

A more intimate way

In addition to the demonstrations of love and trust that occur within a couple, such as small details, conversations, and support, it is possible to strengthen this bond of intimacy with your partner through sexuality, because “it is the variable that differentiates us from the other bonds we have,” says Alcalá. According to María Inés Elgueta, a clinical psychologist, “On an emotional level, sexuality creates certain bonds with your partner when it develops in a healthy environment.”

Alcalá says that if the couple is well and emotionally stable, they can have a satisfying sexual relationship. Otherwise, when they have problems, they come to light. “Sexuality is the most sensitive and weak point of the couple. If we have a healthy relationship, we feel good when we get close to our partner,” he explains.

To know if you are having a healthy sexual relationship with your partner, you must remember that it must be consensual, that both people must feel comfortable, and that it must be a pleasurable experience for both. If for some reason you do not feel comfortable and do not want to have sex, you must learn to communicate it and not look for excuses.

When there is a problem with sexuality, the couple must try to resolve it. Otherwise, says Alcalá, this could affect the relationship, as both people become distant. “When having sexual encounters, these are not satisfactory, then there is anger, frustration, and argument. As a consequence, they could present low self-esteem,” he adds, and expresses that “we have the right to feel pleasure and enjoy. Let us not be afraid to talk, to express and find out how we can resolve it, both individually and as a couple.”

When experiencing sexual problems, it is best for the couple to seek professional guidance to resolve the issue and avoid further problems, says Elgueta, since it is a delicate subject that may be linked to childhood beliefs.

Some problems

They are called “sexual dysfunction” when, in intimacy, the person has difficulty enjoying themselves and prevents their partner from enjoying themselves. This could have different causes. According to Alcalá, it could be due to biological reasons due to medical conditions, the consumption of medications, surgeries, or antidepressants. In these cases, the person must go to a specialist for treatment.

Another factor could be social reasons such as sexual education or parameters that men or women must adhere to. According to this, Elgueta explains that “women are often tied to taboos and limit themselves greatly from fully enjoying their sexuality.”

Likewise, in the case of men, the clinical psychologist points out that they “carry a very large social burden where they have to be in charge of pleasuring the woman,” but this should be mutual and not seen as a task. Another social reason is that “when men have erection problems, it is difficult for them because emotionally they believe that they are not man enough to be able to fulfill their role. These are taboos that permeate society and that must be eliminated,” says Elgueta.

Another cause of sexual dysfunction is emotions. This happens when a woman has low self-esteem or the man is insecure. There are even cases where the woman does not feel comfortable with her body and does not concentrate on intimacy, say the specialists consulted.

Problems that occur and what to do in these cases

According to Alcalá, among the most common problems that occur in couples at a sexual level are premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and anorgasmia. Elgueta also mentions that there are situations in which sexual relations are not consensual. “One person is indisposed and the other is eager. If this is the case, dialogue must be sought,” she says.

Just as when your partner does something that goes against what you like, communication is essential. “Tell him or her that you don’t feel comfortable, maintain a dialogue and don’t give a closed “no”, but rather let your partner understand the reason and you don’t have to give a forced “yes”,” adds the clinical psychologist.

Remember that sexuality as a couple should be an opportunity to strengthen intimacy and the close bond that you have. It should be consensual and should give pleasure to both members of the couple. If, for some reason, you do not feel comfortable, identify the problem as a couple and seek professional help.