Different reasons can affect sexual desire. If you feel that having intimate relations with your partner has decreased or you feel anxious thinking about having to do so, here we explain some aspects that could be affecting you.
The prolonged absence of sexual desire is a problem that affects many people and can cause psychological damage to those who suffer from it. It causes dilemmas in relationships and life in general. According to sexology experts, there are various factors, physical or psychological, that can cause it.
According to the psychologist and sexologist, Lorena Bonilla, the main symptoms of this problem are a lack of interest in any type of sexual activity, such as self-satisfaction and sexual fantasies, as well as a concern about not having them. Some people associate this with the fact that their partner no longer finds them attractive or that there is a third party in the relationship. However, some reasons can cause this.
1. Stress
“The daily grind of going to work, meetings, traffic, taking care of the children, and other daily activities causes us high levels of stress. They also make us come home tired and just want to sleep, which affects sexual relations,” says Bonilla.
Stress can manifest itself physically, causing general fatigue, muscle tension, and headaches. The combination of these conditions can decrease the levels of androgens and estrogens, sexual hormones, which cause erectile failure, absence of vaginal discharge, or premature ejaculation.
In addition, the change in character due to tiredness, irritability, and tension makes the sexual experience unsatisfactory because the person will not perform as well.
2. Lack of self-esteem
Gynecologist María Mercedes Urrutia says that people who do not accept their bodies and who have self-esteem problems also suffer from a lack of sexual desire. “It is a cycle, low self-esteem causes a lack of sexual desire and not having this type of relationship also affects self-esteem,” she says.
Self-esteem can also be affected by sexual dysfunctions that both men and women may experience at some point in their lives. In men, erectile dysfunction can arise between the ages of 40 and 70.
Women may suffer from vaginismus, a sexual dysfunction characterized by the involuntary contraction of the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina, causing it to close; as well as menopause, which causes a decrease in estrogen levels.
These diseases, in both sexes, cause frustration, guilt, depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, factors that affect relationships.
3. Medication use
People who are undergoing very strong medical treatments, such as those for cancer, which cause side effects in the body such as nausea, tiredness, and fatigue, cause a decrease in sexual libido. These medical processes also affect self-esteem because they generate changes in the body and a hormonal imbalance.
Bonilla mentions that some medications can also affect your life as a couple, but it depends a lot on each person. The contraceptive pill decreases testosterone levels; as do some antihistamines or tricyclic antidepressants. It is advisable to consult your doctor if you think they may be causing this side effect.
4. Monotony
At the beginning of a romantic relationship, everything seems new and exciting, including intimate relationships. However, sexual desire and attraction can diminish with routine. When devoting themselves to work or home activities and their different responsibilities, the couple has little time for romantic moments.
“If as a couple we get used to having sex on the same day and we don’t change the way we attract the other person, everything will become boring and it will no longer attract our attention and it ends up being an obligation or something forced. This can generate frustration and create problems in the relationship,” emphasizes Urrutia.
It is recommended that you dedicate at least one afternoon a week to being with your partner. Both of you can look for activities that you like or that interest you. You can also look for other places that are comfortable for you to have sex.
5. Poor communication with your partner
“In a woman, when there are relationship problems such as boredom, infidelity, or lack of respect, there is often no desire to be intimate,” says Urrutia.
When there are problems in a relationship that are not resolved at the right time, a blockage is created in communication issues that influence all aspects of the relationship. It is advisable to have the confidence to talk about what affects them.